•Pain of losing cop to gunman’s bullet lingers as wife accepts his award for gallantry •Two-year-old granddaughter still on quest to find her ‘papa’
Joseth Fairclough was a study in composure as she collected the sole posthumous Medal of Honour for Gallantry on behalf of her husband, Constable Ricardo Fairclough, on Monday during the National Honours and Awards Ceremony, painfully aware that their family’s eyes, including those of her only granddaughter who was still on a quest to find her “papa”, were glued to her face.
Breathing deeply to keep her grief at bay, the widow gracefully accepted the whispered comfort of Governor General Sir Patrick Allen, who presented the award, but confessed to the Jamaica Observer afterwards, “Inside I am dying”.
“I tried to hold it in. I thought I was even going to fall, but I tried to hold it in. His eldest daughter is here watching me and his granddaughter, so I don’t want them to see me break down, so I tried to hold it. I tried to sustain myself and be strong for everyone. I know some of his colleagues are here as well; if I break down, everybody is gonna break down so I didn’t want to mess anything up,” she told the Observer her face awash with emotions.
Her husband, who was assigned to the St Ann Divisional Operational Support Unit, was killed in the line of duty in April this year.
According to the police report, Constable Fairclough had fired his service pistol at a gunman who had shot a 24-year-old female vendor in her upper body. During an exchange of gunfire, the constable was hit in the upper body. Fairclough and the vendor were taken to hospital and the cop died while being treated. The 43-year-old was the first member of the Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF) killed in the line of duty this year.
For Joseth, that moment has been replayed in her mind a million times and, had she been able, so would Monday’s ceremony.
“I appreciate what is happening, but I am sad to know that he is not the one collecting it, if it was even with one leg, if it was even with half of his brain gone, I would be pushing him here, but not having him at all is where the pain is,” she shared.
“We’re here doing all of this but inside I am dying. My heart was racing so fast up there, I tried taking deep breaths, because that is what the doctor would say, ‘Take deep breaths’,” she told the Observer her face coming alive when her two-year-old granddaughter bounced into view, her aunt in tow.
“This is my granddaughter and our eldest daughter; this is his favourite granddaughter and the only one,” she said smiling slightly for the first time during the interview.
The two year-old, Destini-Skylar, however, has been on a quest to find her “papa” since May when she landed in the island for his funeral and has continued her search since her recent return.
“When we first came in May she ran and hugged a police officer who was in uniform and when she looked up [and saw that it wasn’t him] she turned away. This time when she came off the plane she was like, ‘Are we going to see papa?’, and I said to her ‘Yes, we are going to look for papa, but remember he is in heaven so we are going to the grave,’” Joseth related.
“When we got to the house, she turned to his niece and said ‘Auntie, is papa in his room?’ and she broke down, she said to me ‘Auntie, you have to answer that one because I can’t,” Joseth recalled painfully.
Destini-Skylar, unaware of death’s finality, continued her quest on Monday.
“So this morning when we said ‘Are you awake for papa’s function?’ she said ‘Yes’ she started to smile because she is expecting to see him. When she saw the people in the uniform I think she feels much better,” Joseth noted.
In the meantime, she admits that her family has a far way to go in the healing process.
“His eldest daughter, she is not coping at all, she cries every day. The other two are stronger. We are trying, it is not an easy task, I have his pictures all over the house, his colognes are everywhere. He loved colognes. We are trying to hold up,” she confided.
Fairclough was born in Wait-A-Bit, Trelawny, the last of his parents’ 13 children. He relocated to Lewis, St Ann, in his early 20s after he met Joseth.
The fallen cop had plans to join his wife in the United States but had delayed that move adamant that he would spend some more time in Jamaica indulging in what he loved — policing. His death came just weeks before a planned visit to see his family in the US and be present at a routine doctor’s visit for his daughter who is pregnant with twins.